We all have to kill titans. Maybe you’re fighting an anxiety-type titan. Or a school-type titan. Or an illness-type titan or a family-type titan or a relationship-type titan or an addiction-type titan or a self confidence-type titan or a society-type titan or just a fucking titan in general. Kill that titan, I know you can do it. Kill the fucking titan. You’ve fought this far, and I know you can win. KILL THE TITAN
I never really clue in to how needy I am until the three people I regularly talk to don’t answer me and I get really antsy and start spamming them even though I know they won’t answer and I start spiraling
Do you think Derek Hale does his own taxes? Or does he have an accountant? It must be complicated, since he’s very rich from life insurance and fire insurance and everything. That would be tricky to manage on his own with TurboTax. Does he save documents all year long so he can do his taxes? Does he let Mr. Adams at the accounting firm take care of it? Does Mr. Adams want him to look at statements before signing on the return? Does Mr. Adams ask if he can fax things over and Derek says “I don’t have a fax machine” and so Mr. Adams sighs and says he’ll talk to his assistant and work something out?
Does Derek also have a financial advisor who manages his portfolio? Does he get emails asking him if he wants to diversify? Has he invested in startups? Did Derek invest in Twitter on a whim and accidentally increase his wealth by an insane amount? Did he once sheepishly call Mr. Adams and ask about setting up a charitable trust because Derek accidentally tripled his savings?
I JUST TOLD CRIMSONCLAD THAT THE ONLY THING I CARE MORE ABOUT THAN NIPPLES IS DEREK HALE DOING MENIAL AS HELL TASKS.
DOES MR ADAMS MAKE DEREK HALE GET A PO BOX BECAUSE MAIL PEOPLE ARE SMARTER THAN ADOLESCENT BOYS AND REFUSE TO GO ANYWHERE NEAR THE LOFT’S MAILBOX? (IT’S A CARDBOARD BOX ON WHICH DEREK HALE SCRAWLED “MAIL PLZ” IN CRAYON.) DEREK KIND OF LIKES PICKING UP HIS MAIL FROM HIS POST OFFICE BOX CUZ HE LIKES GETTING MAIL EVEN THOUGH ITS MOSTLY FOR CREDIT CARDS AND CATALOGS. HE FLIPS THROUGH THE LANDS END CATALOG ANYWAY. WHO KNOWS? MAYBE HE WANTS SOMETHING. YOU DON’T KNOW HIS LIFE.
omg omg Derek getting mail! DEREK GETTING MAIL.
-letters from his middle school pen pal, Larry. Larry lives in Iowa. Derek still writes to him faithfully.
-fundraising appeals from the basketball camp he went to for two summers. “Our campers love learning about the DRIVE TO WIN and GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP!”
-subscription to Highlights. He hasn’t paid for it in decades, he keeps trying to tell them to stop sending it, but it just keeps coming. “Get it TOGETHER, Goofus,” he sighs.
-His old babysitter Mrs. Elmore sends him a check for five dollars on his birthday every year.
OK, but I want to know exactly what it is Derek tells his middle school pen pal Larry about his life. Like I’m guessing he doesn’t lie, just leaves out…almost everything?
"I was dating this really nice teacher for a little while but it didn’t work out."
"It’s hard making friends."
"Fitness is really important to me."
"Sometimes I wonder if I’ve made the right choices. Do you ever feel that way, Larry?"
All those sound EXTREMELY LIKELY. Also, sometimes he’ll just buy an issue of Sports Illustrated and mention topics from it in his letters. Or he’ll look up movie listings on his phone—not to SEE any of them, but he’ll ask Larry if HE has seen them, and when Larry writes back he will often explain the plots of those movies to Derek. That’s why Derek was once able to get a joke that Scott made about Ryan Reynolds. Scott looked proud of him, and Derek felt proud of himself. Larry is a true friend.
But what happens when Larry happens to be in California for a business trip? He’s just going to swing over to meet Derek, it’s only an hour’s drive, and they’ve been writing to each other for such a long time. It’ll be cool to finally put a face to the name, right?
And of course when Larry meets everyone it’s a hideously embarrassing exercise, because he keeps saying, “Wow, you’re just like I imagined!” or alluding to things that Derek said about them, things that Derek didn’t think were ever going to go beyond Larry.
Oh man, it’s like fake-married trope, but instead it is “fake functional human adult life” trope!
"Yeah, I totally have a refrigerator in my loft, Larry! And I definitely did NOT order it on my phone five minutes ago, NOR did I send Isaac a text asking if he would go meet the delivery truck!" And I have definitely had running water in all of my residences for the past few months. I have definitely never ever been reduced to brushing my teeth with the water that has gathered in an empty bucket out on my loft balcony. Oh, and all my closest friends absolutely come over here for reasons other than horrible murders. Like, we hang out and play games all the time, and no one bleeds at all."
What I am MOST into about this, besides everything, is the desperate, hopeless look in Derek’s eyes when he asks them all to play along, even though they probably won’t — it’s barely even worth asking — even if they’re nice enough to try, it’ll be too hard for them to stifle their laughter when Larry mentions Derek’s New Year’s Resolution to learn woodworking — The way Derek’s eyes widen, the way his face relaxes, shocked, warily pleased, when Scott looks at him and says warmly yes, of course, of course we will play along, and smacks Stiles in the side when he opens his mouth to say something smart. Because you know who is emotionally mature and can tell when something matters and actually, it turns out, doesn’t hate Derek anymore: Scott McCall.
"You know, it’s weird, I kind of pictured Scott as older than you!" says Larry. "That’s so funny!"
"Haha," says Derek. "Yeah. Weird."
SCREAAAAAAAAAAMING. Derek sends Larry letters full of how much Scott is teaching him about life and love and family. Scott’s such a good role model. Scott just really knows how to bring people together. Scott taught him how to change his voicemail greeting. Scott helped him buy a pair of galoshes because there have been so many rainstorms.
To be honest, Larry probably thought Scott was some sugar daddy in his sixties, someone taking Derek under his wing and helping him figure shit out. Larry didn’t judge. He’s just happy that Derek seems happy.
Yeah, no, that’s most definately not what the majority of us said. But I get it DEREK is a name that could so easily mistaken for LYDIA or MALIA, ami’righ?
I’ve been ignoring that Facebook post, because the screencaps turning up on my feed made it clear it was eye-roll worthy. Given the responses being posted by fans, I figured the PR team would just let it quietly disappear.
Obviously I gave them too much credit. This “summary” of the response is so poorly done. Shame on you Teen Wolf PR team. If you had to make a post and didn’t want to mention Derek, it could still have been spun in ways which weren’t gross, including focusing on how worried the fans were for Stiles’ wellbeing — that could actually have made really great copy. Much more fresh and interesting than the tripe peddled in this article.
But no, instead the writer went for a complete disregard of the two clearly expressed popular opinions, and a gross misrepresentation based on the few other comments for the sake of a het love triangle that barely exists in the show.
Homophobic. Lacking compassion for mental health issues. Unethical misrepresentation of the facts.
Congratulations. You’ve achieved a trifecta of incompetence, Teen Wolf PR.
THIS IS SOME STRAIGHT UP BULLSHIT and I am surprised everyone is being so calm about it.
I love how in order to ignore all the Sterek comments, they felt it necessary to use a pro-Malia/Stiles comment from someone who can’t even spell Stiles’ name correctly.
It’s not even about Sterek at this point (although I agree that it’s a shame that they didn’t even mention Derek after he was by a landslide the most named partner for Stiles). It’s beyond ridiculous how they claim to SUM UP the reactions to this poll and then exclusively add things like “STYDIA IS COOL” and “STYLES AND MALIA YAY” (notice how they obviously couldn’t fine a comment that had Stiles spelled correctly) while it is OBVIOUS and clear even to people who have no idea what this is about that the majority of replies says “FUCK ALL OF THIS, ESPECIALLY THIS QUESTION. Stiles doesn’t need a girlfriend or a hook up, Stiles needs some rest and peace and time to get his shit together and recover from weeks of nightmares, mental torture and the knowledge that he KILLED PEOPLE. Same goes for Lydia who has been emotionally terrorized since season 2 and Malia who killed her own family and then was trapped in an animal body for years”.
I don’t even want to know how long they searched for comments like those they posted, because that poll is flodded with things like what I just wrote above.
Kesha is looking happy and healthy! The hair is everything!
shoutout to the dude who played Supernatural QuizUp with me for basically two hours